10 Years in the Desert

A Radical Life Switch after the NDE

The major life change Gordon went through was after his 1993 NDE. Until then he had a very successful life but by no means that meant that he had an easy life. Gordon had become used to working hard and building his own companies. He was in investments and used to deal with highly successful people. He was a high officer at the Masons and as such was distinguished with a lot of social esteem. But also as successful businessman he received a lot of praise. Of course he enjoyed all the advantages of a highly successful businessman, meaning he lived in beautiful homes. Besides that he was a member to all the exclusive clubs.

However, even with this success he had his share of hardships, when involuntarily he became a single parent losing his wife to mental illness. He then had to do the upbringing of his three children alone while running his businesses. Due to all the problems that the situation brought with it, Gordon had to start from scratch in business several times, yet every time he started anew, he became more successful.

He was a hardworking man, good for his employees, but a truly hard-nosed businessman. Hard-nosed for his competitors as well as for himself. He worked so hard that he often times ignored his physical health.  Gordon's work schedule became intense.  Eventually he would basically end up working 80 hours a week. Then in 1993, when he had just started a new business, Gordon's health could not take anymore.  He came to the point where his physical symptoms overwhelmed him, he took himself to the hospital and had his life changing NDE.

 Gordon states:

 Life changing moment

That absolutely is the moment when my life changed. Before that I was using my skills and talents to work hard and make money, just for the fun of it. I was good at it, and it is always nice to do things that you’re good at. My children had grown up to become successful adults, having attended college and finding their ways in life. I now no longer needed to make sure they were all right, because they had become independent, getting married etc.

The love that I felt during the NDE was so beautiful to me. You see, I am trying to word it to you, to make you understand, but words simply are not sufficient to show you the depth of the experience. I try to make comparisons you would understand. Like the love of the mother for the newborn child. That example goes to show the conditionality of the feeling. But it is just a description. Until you feel it, you can never understand the depth, the sheer beauty of the feeling. I’m almost feeling frustrated for lacking the words to make you see.

Welcomed by Spiritual beings

So that overwhelming feeling of love was there, besides that the colors were just beautiful. Everything was harmonic and peaceful. The colors I had never seen before. The intensity, the depth, the harmony of the feeling that gave me. And then, suddenly there were these spiritual beings, welcoming me. Can you imagine even for one second a totally peaceful environment. A place where fear simply does not exist? A place of sheer acceptance and beauty. Where beings are awaiting you, welcoming you, like you were the only person in the whole universe they have been waiting for. A feeling of utter totality. Of being accepted completely for just who you are. These beings were like brothers to me, but not brothers in the earthly sense of the term. My brothers on earth have not always been friendly to me in the past, but these brothers were spiritual brothers, beings who knew me for who I really was. Not my ego, not my personality, but my indwelling spirit whom they greeted as their long lost friend. Their own flesh and blood. And all that without speaking to me. There were no words. It was a feeling of sheer compassion. Of bliss, of harmony and utter acceptance.

Communication in the spiritual realm is not done with words alone, it is a deep internal communication. Thoughts immediately are felt and known by the other person. It is like that on earth when you see a flock of birds. When they are all flying together no sounds are made, but suddenly they all turn left or right, as if a command had been give to them, it all is communicated on a spiritual level. So at that level I was being communicated with. It was a communication from heart to heart.

The first thing I was feeling was being totally overwhelmed. This was something so totally new, just wonderful. It was like a homecoming after having erred for years, searching and searching and never finding, and now unexpectedly having reached that space. This was the place that they were waiting for me, this was the ultimate place that I belonged.

I was feeling overwhelmed and I did not ever want to return to earth again. This was simply right. It is sheer, utter, complete, total fulfillment and bliss.

The difficult choice

I did not want to return to life. When you finally realize that all the efforts you have gone through in your life, all the hard working that you have done, all that business, just to make money, just isn’t of any value in that place where you belong. That shakes you up totally. All these years of hard work. Now suddenly they amounted up to just one final recognition: my skills and talents were gifts of God, they most certainly were, and I felt blessed by God having bestowed them on me, but these talents were not to be used for making money alone. That was not at all the issue. Suddenly it all became crystal clear to me, and of course that was not an insight that I got on my own. This was one of the many insights that the spiritual brothers revealed to me when I was out of my body and home for a while. I was like the novice and they were like the wise mentors. And I felt the integrity, the sincerity and the utter importance of what was being revealed to me.

Besides the glory of that experience, there was also a bit of a difficult moment. The thing was that I felt so good and happy there, I did not want to return home. I was home. I no longer was searching, I no longer was being restrained by the boundaries of a small physical body (well in my case not so very small as I am 6 foot 3) but now I felt free and peaceful and loved. I wanted to stay in that realm. The tough part was that I now was given the choice. Either I could stay there. Just remain in that domain. This would mean that my body would die and that I would be cremated. The people on earth would then consider me a dead person. I knew better of course. I would be physically dead but spiritually reborn. I would be free, home, blessed, and tremendously happy.

Or I could go back, return into that physical body that was struggling to stay alive due to congestive heart failure. I was being given the choice. There were no implications whatsoever, if I stayed with them, they would love me the same. They showed me however that the teachings they had revealed to me, were of great importance. That these teachings  needed to be shared on earth. The reason for it was that many many of my fellow human beings were under some serious misunderstandings about death, dying and the afterlife. The concept of God and Jesus also were completely misrepresented.

My spiritual brothers truly pointed out to me that they had instructions for them to send me back with that mission. The mission of telling and educating the truth about death to those that were alive right now on earth.

The mission

However they left the choice up to me. All I could feel was the most compassionate of love and the most beautiful freedom. I was extremely reluctant, but I knew there was only one choice to be made, my life until that point had been blessed with wealth and luxury. In addition I could hear the voice of my daughter, as she was heading toward the hospital she would plead that I hang in there and the she was going to be near me soon.  That coupled with the truth I had been revealed made my decision.  I chose to go back. My heart wanted to stay in the spiritual domain with my brothers. Which I really think is natural because who on earth would choose to go back to an earth where people do war and where there is so much hardship going on, poverty, suffering, all these horrid things.  But with my daughter's voice and the mission I had come to realize, I felt it my duty and I wanted to carry out what God had in mind for me. So I chose.

After coming back into my body, I was totally overwhelmed with what had happened to me. There aren’t enough pens in the world to describe the tremendous joy and wonder I felt. My heart felt as if it was on fire. It was as if the fire of love of God had been poured into it and I continuously felt it.

Bullet proof
I understand that I had come back wearing a set of pink colored glasses. I saw the world and my fellow human beings in a total different light. My body had undergone some serious affliction, my mind was so overwhelmed with my NDE experience and my heart was aflame with this new love and I felt invincible. I actually felt bulletproof. Totally bulletproof.

I just had had this congestive heart failure and quickly healed. However on coming back, my body had been reset. I’m sure that was the case. So I had become very very sensitive. It meant my heart could not beat in the way it was beating beforehand. That is a story in itself. We describe that in detail in my book, but you know I felt right as rain five months later. The only thing that I wasn’t too thrilled about was the fact that I had serious headaches. The doctors put me through a C.A.T . brain scan and it turned out that I had a major tumor in my head. The doctors weren’t too keen on operating upon me because such a tumor would have the patient die in the operating room.

But I felt bulletproof. I had exercised and was in great shape after the congestive heart failure. I looked and felt great but for the headaches. When I met with the plastic surgeons, they were totally astonished to see me. They were expecting a very sick person in bad shape on the verge of death as it was. That was not me at all. I actually looked like the picture of health, athletic and in wonderful shape. On seeing me they decided on the spot to get to doing the operation immediately. That was fantastic in itself. I told them to go for it. Get the tumor out and that would be that. A team of specialists was soon organized and the event scheduled.

The Operation

That operation of course was not without risk. It is what is called a radical craniotomy, where the bone flap is temporarily removed from the skull to access the brain. My tumor was huge and it had crusted itself in my eyebrow bone, they had to take the eye out. Weird to hear that your eye has been taken out of its socked and that they collected some bone from my tailbone in order to get the eyebrow reconstructed. It is such a huge operation, took over five hours. The odds of something going wrong were huge, but I did not, not for a second consider the fact that it might go wrong. That thought just did not enter my head. I had but one thought on my mind: God was busy re-manufacturing me. That tumor had been sitting there for years and years. Actually the doctors figured it had been there since I was a little boy and had been tripped for fun by some bigger boys. When I fell, I hit the floor straight with my head and had the hugest bruise you can imagine. The thing was that nobody thought anything of it. The tumor had been growing gradually over the years and at times gave me terrible headaches. But as stated before, I was a hard-nosed businessman, so when the headaches became intolerable I’d take some aspirins and go to bed.

Now the tumor had to be taken out, because in order for God’s mission to be carried out correctly God needed me in the best of shape. Like I said, I felt bulletproof and actually I think I lifted the spirits of the whole operation team by being so confident in their skills and such a good matured patient. So that operation was a major success.

This does not mean that it was painless. When your skull has been lifted and your eye has been dangling on a thread out of the socked the recovering from that is painful. The most horrid pain I got from it was the graft taken from the tailbone. That really hurt. But I was in the best of spirits. I got that little song in my head: “Onward Christian soldiers”, we will continue on our path.


So in hindsight one might say that I had been so overwhelmed by the NDE that I had put on pink colored glasses and just did not recognize danger and risk. In a way that may be the case, during that period I changed my life completely and I must say that I had turned from a hard-nosed businessman into a trusting, caring and maybe somewhat naive counselor. I realized that this a big reason for the fact that some of the associates I worked with ran off with huge amounts of money, which was really tough on the mission we were on. That was a huge set back and slowed down the mission I am sorry to say.

I have been taken advantage of and seeing that in hindsight I think that it is due to the fact that I could not see bad intentions whatsoever. I trusted everyone. That was in shrill contrast to me as the businessman I was before. Just to show how altered I was: I did not even go after the person that ran off with my money. I was confident that God was driving the car and that he would take me where I needed to go.

Ten Years in the Desert

After the NDE I just knew that I could never go back to my business life. That was utterly impossible to me. I wanted to now dedicate my time to helping the less fortunate. The strange thing was that I lost all my money. I had to pay creditors back, repay loans to banks etc and ultimately one day I found myself with about 300 dollars left. I had paid off every single debt and found myself very happy knowing that I now was a free man. I had sold the house, the expensive car, I now lived in a tiny apartment, nothing luxurious, just adequate and I was feeling very serene. I did not own any companies anymore, had no employees and I had but one wish on my mind: serving the less fortunate. So I studied to become a counselor and started helping the poor. I organized a new religious church based on my new understandings. I did not charge any fee and lived on a tiny pension. That in itself was a miracle of God. In the old days I used to laugh about that tiny pension with my rich buddies. You know saying macho things like: that little pension will be just enough for me to represent my lunch money. And now I have been living on that modest pension for almost 15 years. And I don’t mind. To me the most important thing was: using my talents and skills not for me, not to enrich myself, but to make the lives of those who did not have the skills or possibilities to stand up for themselves easier. So that is what I did. I counseled hundreds of people during those years.

I call this period 10 Years in the Desert in order to describe those people’s circumstances. They were horrible. Women having been victims of their abusive husbands, men having suffered from their life circumstances and resorting to alcohol or drugs, all kinds of horrible things. I have seen and heard it all in those years.
During the year 2007/2008 I volunteered in woman’s shelter. The stories the women told me there were heartbreaking. And these weren’t women with bad backgrounds. Some held college degrees and had had good jobs at one time.

So sadly the desert is not some third world country with undeveloped circumstances, but life here in our wealthy country, in one of its major cities where many billionaires reside. Amazing but true.

However, after 10 years of working with the poor and underprivileged, I have found out that in order to really get the mission going, I need to sometimes take the pink colored glasses off. It is now time for me to make up the balance and I understand that in order to carry out the mission that God has given me, I cannot go about it in this small size organization anymore. After all, I had this gift that God had placed in my very soul, my ability to be a great businessman.  This is a tool that I can now use to enhance the mission and spread the great news to everyone.  


To me it is clear that all these years working with the underprivileged, have taught me valuable things. I now know how the wealthy are behaving and I also know how it is for a person to be poor in this world. I know how it is to live on a pension and I know how it is to be wealthy. I know how people respond to you when you are rich, and I also know how people respond to you when you are not rich anymore.

All this inside information has taught me such valuable information about the ways of the world that I feel the deepest gratitude to God to having given me the opportunity of going back and experiencing what I have after my NDE.

My life is a true adventure and I cannot describe in these pages the reality of the adventure. I must refer you to read the book. There are so many other things to relate.

I just want to finish this section of this website by stating the following. I tried it rich and I tried it poor. In order for me to make a huge difference in the world to benefit my fellow human beings, I need to go back to generating money. Sadly the world turns around money and in order to make a success of  the mission God gave me money needs to be in order to spread the teachings that have been revealed to me. There are just no two ways about this.

If you who have read this section understand the portent of my message, maybe you want to contribute to the spreading of this mission. Whether you are able to make a financial donation or want to give some of your spare time in helping us out is entirely up to you. Let me just tell you that either one is greatly appreciated by us. We are looking forward to welcoming you to our family and thank you for being of service to God’s mission.

May God bless you and welcome to our family!!

Reverend G. Gordon Allen

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